Dirty Words

Does society establish language or does language establish society? In my mind, I regularly come back to this long standing argument. Words definitely have power. All words have a vibrational energy that they emit when spoken. But do these words actually affect laws and superstitions? Do they change the way we perceive things?

Some languages lack a precise word to describe something that another language or society has assigned a name to. Think how that would change society’s perception of whatever that thing was. Take for example the word mistress. It traditionally incites excitement of some sort. Depending on the person and circumstance, it could incite feelings of change, anger, shame, secrecy, guilt, complexity or opportunity.

But imagine if there were no word for mistress. Then what would “mistress” mean to society? Could it be simply an insignificant part of life? Could this word then be accepted as an everyday part of life? Now I personally wouldn’t stand for my husband having a mistress so please don’t think that that is where this is going. This is a discussion of language only. But I daresay that language has a much larger effect on the way we live together and the way we see things.

We already know that words can hurt or heal but just how powerful are words? The words that we assign or omit from our language, at the very least, give or take power from those things they represent. I think we can at least agree that the less we speak or hear about a particular person, place or thing the less likely we are to contemplate on it and therefore develop passionate feelings.

Could we literally take the fuel out of some heated topics by changing the way we refer to them? Isn’t this what Public Relations is? Isn’t this what Media and Advertising is? The feelings that words emit (vibrations) have real power.

They affect real change, for better or for worse. Step back and contemplate how we are using our own power. Is it for better or for worse? We, as global citizens, could spend more time considering how others are using their power on us.

 

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All of us are so constantly bombarded with the thoughts and feelings of others, living in a society where many of us live and work shoulder to shoulder.We are all individuals with our own ideas so when we feel agitated at someone who is not like us, we need to at least consider which came first: the chicken or the egg?

We are accessed constantly. We turn on our phones or our computers or TV’s or radio… and those people step right into our personal space telling us what they think and how they feel. Don’t think they don’t choose their words carefully, knowing they are addressing the masses. They have your ear.

Do you spend as much time quietly with yourself, letting your own thoughts and feelings settle before you allow the next person into your personal space to dump their feelings on you? As empathetic creatures we feel a natural inclination to buddy up and absorb much of what is being shared with us.

Have you ever listened to a friend passionately ranting about makeup, soccer, gardening, whatever! It can be anything and it can be something you have absolutely no interest in whatsoever. But eventually… after listening to them discuss this so passionately so many times you feel a tinge of excitement too. Have you ever felt yourself switch up after all that talk and feel like you should help them or get involved in some way?

 

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If you can’t relate to this scenario, how about this one: your friend is pissed and is going off about something someone did to them. You don’t know if a wrong was even done (because you weren’t even there and don’t know the whole story- let’s be fair) but you find yourself getting pissed too in their defense. You’re just feeling that way because of what they are telling you. It didn’t even happen to you!

Words are super powerful, for better or for worse. By filtering the words we accept from coworkers, friends, family, and media we can keep ourselves from being torn down. Social media, the news, radio and TV: they all serve good purposes. But the phrase “too much of a good thing” still applies.

Even informational and positive media can be tiring if we allow ourselves to be bombarded by it. The mind needs time to relax and absorb even those good and healthy things. You wouldn’t spend 5 or 6 hours in a day just eating fruit and vegetables, would you?

We are all empowered with the language that we speak. Words can be our strength or sometimes give strength to others when they need it. We all have the power to use words to literally build our realities. So what will you build? How can you use words to give power to yourself, your children, your people?

“Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more.”-Confucius

Being Mixed Can Be Challenging

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I of course cannot speak for every mixed girl in the world, but I think most mixed people would say that they feel that they are constantly having to explain themselves and how they identify. It reminds me of Edward James Olmos in the movie Selena when he is explaining what it’s like to be Mexican-American. “Being Mexican American is tough. Anglos jump all over you if you don’t speak English perfectly. Mexicans jump all over you if you don’t speak Spanish perfectly. We have to be twice as perfect as anybody else. We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time.”

That is similar to how I feel about being mixed. It’s a constant game of proving you’re black enough, etc. and it’s exhausting! When most think mixed race, we automatically think biracial. But not everyone is biracial and I’m not going to talk about the biracial experience today. I want to discuss a less told story, identifying as multiracial. I’m black, Mexican and Native. Three different ethnicities and cultures, and each one has treated me like I don’t belong and I constantly have to prove myself all the time. Growing up was a challenge. Kids can be so cruel and I was trying to figure out who I was as most kids do. To add to that, as a mixed girl I was constantly messed with because of it. Black kids (specifically black girls) told me that I wasn’t black enough and I needed to hang with the Mexicans. I literally would get into fights with black girls because of my hair and skin tone. I’m well aware that society sadly views mixed girls as more beautiful than black girls. I believe that is why I had such a hard time with black girls while growing up. Looking back, I didn’t understand this at the time. I just thought black girls hated me because I was mixed, which was a really big pill to swallow.

My experiences with Mexicans were similar to black folks. I have a Hispanic last name that I was constantly challenged on. Everyone wanted me to explain why I had this Spanish last name. From there, it was do you speak Spanish? If you said you did, you better be ready to answer more questions in Spanish to prove that you’re a Latina and really do speak Spanish. Once that was done, then came the geography test. Where are you from? California. No, where are you really from? Where in Mexico is your family from? Have you been to Mexico? Have you been anywhere besides tourist places. I bet you don’t know who Selena is (90’s kid here.) Oh, you do. What about Vicente Fernandez? The funny thing is, this still happens to me today as an adult. LOL. Talk about drama right? Or, I’m told that I must be Dominican or Puerto Rican. That’s why I speak Spanish. Is it not possible for a girl to be black and Mexican, sheesh. (Look out for another blog on this)

Then there is my Native side that I don’t know about. I wasn’t in contact with this side of my family, so I have no idea what tribe my family is from. I know I had a grandparent that was full blooded Native but that’s it. I’ve always felt a connection to the culture, which is more frustrating to me because I don’t know that side of me. So, I try to do my own thing when it comes to my Native side and learn on my own about the culture and the many tribes.

Looking back I see how the media and its beauty standards divided even children. I had such a hard time learning to accept myself not because I saw anything wrong with myself but because the world outside of me seemed to see something disturbing about my ethnic background and felt the need to label me for their own comfort. Even today, I have had people tell me that I am not correctly identifying myself and that I should identify as an Afro Latina even though my people are not Afro Latino, they are natives, Africans and Latinos from different countries and cultures that reside in America. Why do we feel the need to label others? What is threatening about someone just being multiracial? The world is diverse so why can’t a person be?

 

Feeling Like A Million Bucks

I think about that phrase differently now. How do you feel about money? Does it make you feel like you’d be on top of the world if you had it? Like all your worries would dissipate and be replaced with wild adventures and benevolent pursuits? Sometimes we think like that, but are we feeling it?

I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction (see the book and movie “The Secret”). The Secret was one of the first explanations I encountered on how the Law of Attraction actually relates to real life and the things that we want to happen for us. I learned that feeling was the gas to the car that we build with our dreams.

Like many of us, I learned early on that wealth would help me achieve freedom to do the things I wanted to do and when I wanted to do them. So I focused on manifesting that. I realized that it seemed pretty difficult for me to focus on it for some reason. Then I watched a video that broke it down for me.

The video suggested that you first spend considerable time examining how you feel about wealth. This felt like an unnecessary step, but because I was failing I decided to just go with it. The video couldn’t be that long. I was urged to imagine I had the wealth that I supposedly wanted already and sit with that feeling. Then I was instructed to pinpoint how I felt at that moment, imagining that I already had the wealth. I was surprised by what I found out about myself.

Honestly, I felt uncomfortable. When I thought about that uncomfortable feeling I realized that it was a mixture of worry, paranoia and shame. It was like I was a little worried that people would know I was rich and they would hate me. I felt ashamed to be rich when those around me were struggling. I think I even felt like I wasn’t the one who deserved to be wealthy.The realization that these were the messages I had been sending out into the universe hit me like a ton of bricks.

Money is just an idea and a tool. But it’s not enough to just know that. We have to feel and believe it. The more you feel good about money and having it, the more of that feeling you are going to get. You will manifest it, and I’ve seen it working (woop woop!).

We know we are not the only ones who were raised to be awfully cheap in a household that went beyond conservative (understatement, I’m being nice). Like many, we were equipped with no financial literacy and then were thrown into the world to support ourselves as teens. Well needless to say, many mistakes were made. Being fearful and ignorant is a bad  combination.

Like attracts like and “You get what you give” is not just a phrase but a law. Emotions create energy so feeling good, and normal, about being rich is necessary if we expect wealth to be our norm. We attract the things that we resonate with vibrationally. Vibration is feeling so think (and feel) like a million bucks. If that’s what you really want…

Food Ordeal

Food. It is pretty important stuff. Traditionally offered to the gods and ancestors as acknowledgement and in exchange for blessings. Now we break bread at almost every single milestone.

But what if we offered some of the food we eat to the powers that be? Don’t know how a fast food anything would hold up as offerings. It kind of makes you think about how we treat our own bodies when it comes to food.

We over here, we LOVE food! Every event revolves around food for us. Soul food, traditional Mexican cuisine, good ol’ (Black) American barbeque. We are also huge fans of Thai and Filipino foods, Japanese, African, Indian, anything spicy… Relics of being raised in California’s ceramic pot of cultures as diverse as us.

We could go on and on, but with all these delicious choices, why do we choose junk so often? Time? Money? We all do it, and no one is perfect. But we like to think of eating as honoring ourselves as the supreme beings that we are. When we eat we are lovin’ on ourselves. Recognize that our bodies are the vessel that can either help or hinder us from lovin’ on others. And we all deserve to give and receive that good lovin.’ Just sayin’…